


that wishing rock made us all gay

by halobolts



Category: Shorts (2009)
Genre: Anal Sex, Fluff, M/M, Masochism, Rimming, Sadism, Threats of Rape/Non-Con, basically cole wants toby and doesn't particularly care how he gets him, dubcon, i unironically love this movie, underage in the sense that they're high schoolers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-25
Updated: 2018-01-25
Packaged: 2019-03-09 06:53:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13476066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/halobolts/pseuds/halobolts
Summary: the shorts characters are in high school. they're all gay. they're all pining.





	that wishing rock made us all gay

**Author's Note:**

> hey it's me. been a long time since i've published anything. but i rediscovered this movie and cole and toby?????? gay. enjoy.

_ how to flirt with guys _

_ how to flirt with guys for guys _

_ how to flirt with gay guys _

_ how to admit a crush _

_ how to tell your best friend that you want her older brother to raw you _

_ cole black _

 

Toby stopped walking, leaned against a locker, and stared at the screen of his Green Box. About a million articles about Cole Black popped up. Most were from paparazzi– speculating on relationships with countless Hollywood starlets. Others were advertisements for the latest Black Inc. innovation, disguised as puff pieces on the Black family. Toby squinted at a picture of Helvetica, their dad Carbon, and Cole, from one of these articles. His best friend, his parents’ boss, and...Cole.

 

Toby groaned, resisting the urge to smash his head into the metal behind him. Fucking Cole Black. He had known him since they were kids, and he had pretty much been a dick since they were out of diapers. The shit with the wishing rock back when they were thirteen may have brought Hel and Toby close together, but Cole remained distant. He was a whole grade older than them, but he still clung to his little sister’s side like a wet tissue. At age seventeen. Barf.

 

And yet he still didn’t like Toby, who spent nearly every moment at school with Hel. It wasn’t even a “throwing rocks and shoving into trash cans” kind of hate, like it used to be. No, Hel had her brother in an emotional chokehold, so Cole couldn’t do much more than stare him down and make vague threats when Hel wasn’t looking. 

 

He didn’t treat Loogie or Nose like this (although, to be fair, Loogie wasn’t Hel’s favorite and Nose was obviously gay) so Toby wasn’t quite sure what was up. Did Cole think that he had a crush on Hel? Did Hel have a crush on him? His psych teacher would probably say that Cole has a crush on Hel, which was too awful to think about. Just because psych was his favorite subject didn’t mean that he couldn’t despise Freudian ideology.

 

But if Toby was being honest with himself, seeing Cole glare daggers at him across a room was pretty hot. There was just something in getting a hot boy all worked up, seeing his face twist with malice, and hearing the whispered threats. Something which, apparently, turned Toby on. Fuck. He was a terrible person.

 

The second bell rang, making Toby both horny and late for class.

 

\---------------

 

After a very frustrating math class and a quick trip to the bathroom, Toby was ready for lunch. Quote unquote lunch, anyway. His parents rarely packed him a lunch anymore, and he couldn’t be bothered to wake up early and prepare his own. Lunch was more of an excuse to see his friends.

 

He was not the first one to arrive at their customary corner table. That honor was given to Nose, who was always,  _ always _ , punctual.

 

“Hey, Nose,” said Toby as casually as someone who had just jacked off in a school bathroom could be. 

 

Nose’s whole face brightened. “Toby!” He reached into his backpack, digging around until he pulled out a plastic cup of jello and a spoon. “I brought your favorite color.”

 

“Second-favorite color,” corrected Toby with a trace of a smirk. “But orange is still pretty good.”

 

Nose made a face. “They’re never going to make brown jello, Toby. Get real.”

 

“There’s pudding,” pointed out Toby, dipping his spoon into the cup.

 

“Pudding doesn’t count as jello. Does pudding count as jello, Loogie?” Nose turned to address Loogie, who smelled like weed and was holding a plate of brownies.

 

“Man, who cares?” Loogie said. “What matters is that I made brownies in Home Ec.” He practically threw the plate down in front of Toby. Toby wrinkled his nose.

 

“Are these edibles, Loogie?” he asked warily. It wouldn’t be the first time he had made edibles in  Home Ec.

 

“You’d know it if they were edibles,” said Loogie. “Not this time. Nose texted me in the morning to bring you something to eat.”

 

Toby shot a look at Nose. “Is this true?”

 

Nose flushed. “You’d starve to death without me and you know it.”

 

“Jesus Christ, you guys,” said the all-too-familiar voice of Helvetica Black. Cole shadowed her, like usual. “Are you seriously having brownies and jello for lunch?”

 

“What answer is least likely to get me in trouble with my best friend?” Toby asked cheekily, around a mouthful of jello.

 

“Unbelievable,” Hel sighed. She put her lunchbag down and sat down next to Toby. Cole followed suit, on Toby’s other side. Hel reached over and took a brownie from the plate.

 

“Hypocrite!” Toby exclaimed.

 

“If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em,” she said with a full mouth, and Toby had to laugh. She was his best friend for a reason. Across the table, Loogie and Nose chuckled half-heartedly. Cole seemed intent on burning a hole into Toby’s head. Hel leaned forward, to Loogie.

 

“Me and Cole are having a party tonight, Loogie,” she said. “And you know how wild my parties get.”

 

“And, let me guess, you want me to bring weed?” he replied.

 

“And?” Hel said.

 

Loogie sighed. “And Laser. Man, Hel, why do you want to fuck my brother so bad?”

 

She shrugged. “He’s a challenge. A prudish, prudish challenge.”

 

Nose put a hand up. “Hey, as long as you’re bringing one brother…?”

 

Loogie waved him off. “Lug’ll be there too. He’s been talking about you for days.”

 

“Really?” Nose flushed.

 

But Loogie was onto the next thing. “Hel, will any hot friends of yours be there? It’s shit that my brothers are both getting more ass than I am.”

 

Nose sputtered, while Hel just looked annoyed. “There’ll be girls there. But I doubt you’ll be able to convince anyone to sleep with you. Nobody’s  _ that  _ desperate.”

 

Loogie laughed and leaned back, swiping a brownie from the plate. “You’re a total bitch.”

 

“Sounds fun, guys. Wish I was invited,” complained Toby to nobody in particular. He got up and walked over to the trash can, empty jello package in hand.

 

As he threw it away and dusted his hands off, Toby felt a feather-light touch on his shoulderblade. Christ, that boy was like a shadow. A sexy, sexy shadow. “What’s up, Cole?” Toby said, trying to act cool and probably failing.

 

“You’re coming to the party, right?” Cole said lowly.

 

“I mean, if I’m invited,” said Toby.

 

“You’re invited,” said Cole. They stared at each other for a moment, silently sizing each other up. “You’re coming.”

 

Toby swallowed. “Okay,” he said. “I’m coming.”

 

“Okay,” said Cole bluntly, before turning around and walking back to the table.

 

Toby watched him go, his jaw slightly open. He shook his head. Why did he have to have a crush?

 

\---------------------

 

That night, Toby rode his moped to the Black mansion. He would have hitched a ride with Nose, but Nose was always punctual, and Toby wasn’t. So, moped. The night was uncommonly warm for October, and Toby cursed himself for wearing a hoodie. 

 

Given the warmth of the night, Toby expected the party to be held outside on the estate’s vast lawn. To his dismay, pulling up, that was only half-true— some guests milled around outside, but the real party was in the giant foyer. Typical. Hel and Cole  _ loved  _ to show off their wealth. 

 

He parked his moped next to Hel’s atrociously huge motorcycle and Cole’s convertible. Slinging off his rainbow-painted helmet, he mentally prepared for the hubbub inside. 

 

Sure enough, it was a zoo in the foyer. They were playing, out of all things, “Party Rockers In The House Tonight.” Toby was pretty sure that everyone in the entire school was there, plus everyone from the high school in the next town over. Good. More of a chance of finding someone closeted or willing to experiment. 

 

He wove through the crowd, past couples practically on third base and the people who were getting off on watching. Fucking straight people.

 

Finally, Toby broke through the mass. To his delight, he had landed by the refreshments table. And standing by the table, holding a mixed drink, was Nose. 

 

“Nose!” Toby exclaimed. “What’s up?”

 

Nose smiled. “Currently, that.” He pointed to the edge of a crowd, where Hel, Laser, and Loogie were chatting. Hel looked put out (which wasn’t abnormal) as Loogie talked animatedly. Laser looked like he didn’t know how to nicely tell his brother to get lost. 

 

Toby turned to Nose. “Have they been doing that for a while?”

 

“Ten straight minutes,” said Nose. “And Loogie knows he’s cockblocking Hel, too.”

 

“Does he have a crush on her?” Toby asked. The thought was a little too icky for him.

 

“What? Ew,” said Nose. “Nah, he just doesn’t want her to have his brother. Like, would you want Loogie to date your sister?”

 

If the thought of Hel and Loogie being together was gross, this thought blew it out of the water. “Absolutely not,” said Toby. “What’s up with you and Lug?”

 

“Oh, he’s over there,” Nose said dismissively, jerking a thumb behind him. Toby turned his head and, indeed, saw Lug. Lug has his eyes locked on the back of Nose’s head, not even trying to disguise his expression of pure lust.

 

“He’s, uh, kind of staring at you,” Toby said, rubbing the back of his neck.

 

“Yeah, I know. Been doing that for the last ten minutes, but I’m playing hard to get.” Nose shot Toby a sly smile. “Hel is always saying I should do that more.”

 

Toby snorted. “Dude, what do you see in him? I’m gay too, but Lug? Really?”

 

“He’s just…” Nose trailed off, lost in some romantic fantasy. “He’s a nerd.”

 

“You’re a nerd. You realize that you can insult me however you want, but I’ll still be able to say ‘Lug Short’ and defuse your entire argument?”

 

“Cole Black,” Nose said calmly. 

 

“Goddamn it.”

 

“He looks like Sasuke,” said Nose, his face splitting into a grin. “And he’s always glaring at you.  _ And  _ he’s probably straight. Are you a masochist or something?”

 

Toby blushed. “Shut up, Noseworthy. A guy can dream.”

 

But Nose was suddenly focused. “Lug is coming over. Help me out.”

 

“Hey, Nose,” said Lug awkwardly.

 

Nose turned. “Hey, Lug! Nice to see you again!” he said brightly, as if he hadn’t been talking about Lug for weeks.

 

“Yeah, yeah, it’s been a while,” said Lug. Nose and Lug stared at each other, leaving Toby feeling like a third wheel.

 

“Hey, guys,” said Loogie, jumping in and slinging an arm over Toby’s shoulders. “What are we talking about?”

 

“Oh, you know,” Lug said. “Just saying hi to Nose.” He shifted.

 

“That’s good, that’s good,” Loogie said conversationally. “Nose, do you still study germs in your free time?”

 

“I guess, yeah,” said Nose. He shot Toby a look that said  _ Please do not let him do to me and Lug what he was doing to Hel and Laser _ . 

 

“Oh, cool!” said Lug, folding his arms. “I’ve been playing a lot of  _ Pandemic  _ recently! Is your work like that?”

 

Toby took that as an opportunity to grab the arm that was hooked around his shoulders. “Loogie,” he said, almost sweetly. “Come get me a drink.”

 

“Uh, okay,” Loogie said, and he allowed himself to be led away from Nose and Lug.

 

At the opposite end of the refreshment table, Loogie asked, “So what do you want?”

 

“A rum and Coke, please. Nose had one, and it looked good,” said Toby.

 

“That was a rum and Dr. Pepper, my friend,” Loogie said, but he poured him the drink.

 

“You’d better not be spiking it, bro,” Toby said, peering over his friend’s shoulder.

 

“It’s an alcoholic drink. It’s already spiked,” Loogie laughed. He handed Toby the cup. “It is a double, though. Loosen you up.”

 

Toby took a sip. “Much obliged. Been way too tense lately.”

 

“So why did you need me to pour your drink for you?” Loogie asked, leaning up against the table. “Are you trying to hook up? Cause I’m straight. Well, mostly straight. You can suck my dick if you want though.”

 

“Jesus Christ, Loogie,” Toby said. “If I was into you, I would have made a move long before now.”

 

“Then why?” asked Loogie.

 

In answer, Toby pointed across the room, at Laser and Hel, who were in a liplock, and Nose and Lug, who were practically dryhumping.

 

“Oh, gross,” said Loogie, pulling a face. “That’s what I was trying to prevent.”

 

“Yeah, I know,” said Toby, just a little too smugly.

 

Loogie chuckled. “Thompson, you motherfucker. Okay, dude, now you have to wingman for me, since you did it for them.”

 

“Fair enough.” The odds of Toby scoring were getting slimmer and slimmer as the minutes ticked by.

 

Loogie pointed to the middle of the dance floor, where a boy and a girl made strict eye contact as they danced. “You see the Blinkers?”

 

“Yeah,” Toby nodded. If Toby’s friends were the absolute losers of the town, then these twins were a step above that. They were always doing one staring contest or another. Toby didn’t think they even talked to anyone. And people thought that he was weird.

 

“I need you to stumble between them and break their focus,” said Loogie. “You apologize to the boy, maybe flirt a little, while I dance with his sister.”

 

“You know what?” said Toby. “I’ve done dumber things. Let’s go.” He drained his cup, needing all the courage he could get.

 

Loogie clapped him on the back. “There’s my buddy!” He practically pushed Toby into their line of sight.

 

Toby tripped over himself, right in the middle of the twins. They both blinked at the exact same time, and then looked away from each other. “Aw, man!” exclaimed the girl.

 

“Four days, twenty-two hours, eighteen minutes, and thirty-four seconds,” the boy said. “Not a new record, but pretty good.” He glanced at Toby. “Are you okay?”

 

“Yeah, yeah, don’t worry about me,” said Toby, as Loogie appeared in the corner of his vision. “Did you say almost five days without blinking?”

 

The boy puffed out his chest. “We haven’t hit five days yet, but we’ve been training since we were little. It’s an art form.”

 

“That’s pretty cool,” Toby said distractedly. Behind him, Loogie led the girl away. The guy smiled at Toby.

 

“You’re Toe Thompson, right?” he asked.

 

“I mean, my name is Toby,” muttered Toby. That nickname was like a bad penny. “But yeah, that’s me. And you are…?”

 

“Darryl,” said the boy. “Darryl Vanderblink. And my sister is Lydia.” He smiled reassuringly. “I know that most people call us the Blinkers, though.”

 

“Nice to meet you, Darryl,” said Toby, returning the smile.

 

“I hope it’s not a bit too forward of me to ask about your patch,” said Darryl. He pointed to the round rainbow patch sewn onto Toby’s hoodie.

 

“Oh, well, it’s kind of a double meaning, actually,” Toby said. “See, a couple of years ago, me and my friends saved the town–”

 

“He’s not interested,” said a voice behind Toby. Cole placed his hand lightly on Toby’s shoulder.

 

Darryl squinted up at Cole. “Uh, I beg your pardon?”

 

“He’s not interested in you, Blinker,” repeated Cole. “Get lost.” Toby’s heart fluttered.

 

“My name is Darryl,” muttered Darryl. To Toby, he said, “See you in a bit, Toby.” And he sauntered off, like nothing had happened.

 

Cole removed his hand from Toby’s shoulder. “Hey, Toby,” said Cole.

 

Toby turned around. “Hey, Cole. Why’d you do that? Is it because you hate me?”

 

Cole stared at him. “I don’t hate you, Toby,” he said softly. “Why do you think I hate you?”

 

“Uh, cause you’re always glaring at me? And you used to shove me in trash cans? And you just scared off that guy?”

 

“I knew you weren’t into him,” Cole said, ignoring Toby’s first two points.

 

“How?” Toby folded his arms.

 

“Because you’re straight. Obviously.”

 

Toby blinked. He blinked again. Finally, he shook his head, and said, “Cole, I have been eating lunch with you for three years. I have been out for a full year now. How did you not know that I’m gay?”

 

“You’re gay?” Cole said quizzically. He looked a tad shocked.

 

“Cole, my moped helmet is rainbow. I wear a rainbow patch on this hoodie. I occasionally come to school in a rainbow shirt. How did you not pick up on it?”

 

“I just thought you were trying to show that you were a wishing rock kid. That was rainbow, remember?” Cole said.

 

“That wishing rock is like, half the reason that I’m gay. Of course I remember that it was rainbow,” Toby said.

 

“So, you’re gay?” Cole repeated.

 

Toby rolled his eyes. “Yes, Cole, I’m definitely gay.” 

 

There was no response. Cole merely stared at Toby, clearly thinking hard. Toby waved his hand in front of Cole’s face. “Earth to Cole Black!” he called. “Did you short circuit?”

 

Cole stared at him for another long, arduous moment, while Toby silently wondered how he would react. Would he get angry? Did he suspect anything about Toby’s crush?

 

Finally, Cole breathed in, dipped his head, and picked Toby up over his shoulder. Cole turned smartly and began power-walking towards one of the staircases. 

 

Upside down, Toby sputtered. “Cole, what is this? What are you doing?”

 

But Cole gave no response, merely continuing his stride up the stairs. Up two flights of stairs, they went, and down a hall. Toby had been over to the Black mansion enough times to know which bedroom was Cole’s, and so he wasn’t surprised when Cole opened up a door.

 

Toby had about half a second to take in the large room before Cole was walking over to the queen bed and throwing him down. “Cole?” he asked, staring up at the older boy.

 

“Fucking finally,” Cole said smugly, before crushing their lips together.

 

Toby had had kisses before. There was Hel, at the Valentine’s Dance right after the wishing rock. There was Nose and him, at a boy-girl party in freshman year, just starting to figure out their sexualities. There was even Loogie, after they’d both had a little bit too much to drink and hadn’t trusted each other to drive home. And yet, having kissed all of his friends, Toby knew that there would never be anyone like Cole.

 

When they broke the kiss, Cole grinned at him, a strange look in his eyes. Was that lust?

 

“Why?” Toby asked, breathing all of his questions into a single word.

 

Cole’s grin widened, and, too late, Toby recognized the look as malice. Cole put his hands on Toby’s jaw, holding his head in place. “Because you’re  _ you _ .”

 

Toby blinked. “I don’t understand.”

 

“You don’t have to.” Cole tilted Toby’s head so he could kiss alongside his jaw. “I’ve waited too fucking long for this, Toby.”

 

Toby’s cock stirred, choosing to ignore the obvious danger. “How long?” he asked softly.

 

Cole brushed Toby’s bangs out of the way. “Since I was fourteen, and stuffed you in trash cans. Since I hit you on the head with that wishing rock and made you fall out of a tree. Since I could hurt you.”

 

“Are you...going to kill me?” Toby asked, his voice surprisingly steady. He had known that he’d probably die at the hands of one of the Blacks for a long time now. He just hadn’t suspected it to be so soon.

 

Cole’s eyes flashed. “Are you  _ crazy _ ? I’m not ever letting you out of my sight again. I’m going to fuck you so hard that you can’t even crawl from me. You’re mine now.”

 

“I’m yours?” Maybe it was his dick talking, but that thought wasn’t too unbearable for Toby.

 

“Whether you like it or not,” Cole said, and he kissed Toby again. Toby let himself be kissed, and he hoped, desperately, that he didn’t taste like rum and Coke. Cole dug his fingernails into Toby’s cheeks as they kissed, causing Toby to let out a whimper.

 

Cole pulled back, and Toby flushed. Cole dug his nails in harder. “Is someone a masochist?” he cooed.

 

Flustered, Toby could only nod. Cole kissed Toby’s cheek, right over the painful indentations. “And I thought you couldn’t get any more perfect.”

 

Toby stared up at Cole, who was dipping his head into the crook of Toby’s neck. “You think I’m perfect?” he asked hoarsely. Cole bit down on his neck, causing Toby to cry out.

 

“I think you’re out of my league,” Cole panted. He lapped at the place where he bit Toby. “I thought that the only chance I’d get with you was if I…”

 

“If you what?” Toby urged. He  _ had  _ to know.

 

“Aphrodisiac,” Cole hummed, almost guiltily. “My dad’s scientists cooked it up for me. I wanted you.”

 

“Fuck,” Toby whispered. 

 

Cole paused and cocked his head. “Are you mad at me?”

 

But already, Toby could feel himself getting hard. “That’s...kind of hot.”

 

“Oh my god,” Cole breathed, his eyes full of wonder. And then, like a switch being flipped, he grinned again, and ground down onto Toby’s crotch. “I win. I’ve beaten you, Toby.”

 

Toby jerked up in pleasure. “What–what will you do to me?”

 

“I want to strip you of everything that doesn’t mark you as mine.” Cole pulled Toby’s pants down quickly, and did the same to his underpants. Toby pulled off his hoodie and shirt.

 

Cole kissed the tip of Toby’s dick. Confidently, he ran his tongue down the length of Toby’s cock, down his taint, and finally circled around his asshole. Toby shuddered, suppressing a moan. “Cole, please–”

 

“No,” Cole said, cutting him off. “I have waited too fucking long for this, sweetheart. You belong to me, and that means I can do whatever I want to you.” Cole dipped down and teased at Toby’s entrance again.

 

“What are you going to do to me?” Toby asked waveringly.

 

Instead of answering, Cole jammed his tongue into Toby’s hole. Toby cried out thoughtlessly, and then bit his lip. There was a party going on downstairs, after all.

 

But Cole looked up at him and growled, “Make that sound again or I’ll smash your face in.” And that was enough to turn Toby on, eliciting a moan.

 

Cole got up on his knees and pulled down his pants, just enough to free his erect member. Toby blinked. It was a good three inches bigger than his own.

 

“Wanna feel your pretty lips stretched around my cock, baby,” Cole said. He crawled over to the head of the bed.

 

Obediently, Toby took Cole’s tip into his mouth.  _ Fuck _ . How often had he fantasized about this? He licked around the shaft, and then wrapped his lips around it. He couldn’t deepthroat, but he found that he could take a good three-quarters of Cole’s cock.

 

Above him, Cole shook, cursing under his breath. He turned to his nightstand and opened a drawer. Toby pulled off Cole’s dick and frowned. Without looking back, Cole grabbed a fistful of Toby’s hair and pushed him back on. Toby’s eyes watered and he continued sucking.

 

After a couple of minutes, Cole turned around holding a bottle. “Lube!” he exclaimed triumphantly, panting slightly. Toby leaned back, his mouth making an obscene popping sound as it left Cole’s cock, and smirked. Evidently, he was having an effect on the normally silent boy.

 

Cole coated two fingers in lube, and, without warning, thrust them into Toby’s hole. Toby jerked back, and Cole leaned close to his ear. “I would fuck you raw,” he growled softly, “but you’re mine now, and I don’t break what I want to keep.”

 

Toby shivered at the words. “You wanna keep me?”

 

“Big time,” said Cole. He scissored his fingers inside Toby, and Toby hissed at the burn. “And to do that, I have to mark you.” He covered his cock in lube, and then positioned himself at Toby’s entrance.

 

“Wait, I don’t think I’m stretched enough!” Toby said.

 

“Good,” Cole grinned, and he pushed in.

 

Toby screamed at the burn, grasping at the sheets of the bed. Cole muttered a chorus of  _ “yes yes yes” _ -es as he bottomed out. They both stayed like that for a minute, panting and getting used to the sensation. And then, Cole started to thrust.

 

“Now where is it?” he said, almost lazily, moving harshly inside Toby. After a few thrusts, he brushed up against Toby’s prostate, causing Toby to cry out. “There we are!” Cole grinned evilly and thrusted square into the sensitive gland.

 

After a few minutes, Toby was almost ready to come. He counted numbers in his head, thought about him fighting a giant booger monster as a kid,  _ anything  _ to keep himself from spending just yet. Anything to keep him from embarrassing himself.

 

Cole changed from slow, hard thrusts to rapid, bone-rattling ones. Every thrust, he hit Toby’s prostate, and Toby was free with the moans. Cole brushed a thumb over Toby’s cock.

 

“Come for me,” he whispered, and then he thrust up in orgasm. Toby followed, spending all over Cole’s hand.

 

Toby sighed in the aftermath of orgasm, and pulled himself off of Cole’s cock. Cole wiped his hand on the sheets, and then wrapped his arms around Toby, pulling him close to his chest.

 

“You look a bit starstruck,” Toby commented, pressing his face against Cole’s chest.

 

“I am,” he replied. “I still can’t believe that you’re mine.”

 

“Believe it,” said Toby. “I’ve had a crush on you for ages.”

 

“Wow,” yawned Cole. “We spent way too long fucking around, then.”

 

“Agreed,” said Toby. “Round two in a bit?

 

“Round two in a bit,” Cole rumbled, and his arms tightened around Toby.

 

\--------------------

 

The next morning, Toby woke up to Cole already staring at him, limbs still intertwined with his.

 

“What are you thinking about?” he yawned.

 

“Your name,” Cole said seriously. 

 

Toby arched an eyebrow. “Explain.”

 

“My dad’s name is Carbon Black. I’m Cole Black. My sister is Helvetica Black. We have a naming tradition.”

 

“So?” Toby asked.

 

“Taupe. It’s short for Toby. Taupe Black.” Cole’s face split into a grin, but a genuinely happy grin. “It’s an off-black color. That’s a sign.”

 

Toby considered it. “Well, it’s a better nickname than Toe.” He sat up. “I’m hungry. I’m going downstairs.”

 

Cole sat up, stretching. “Don’t think you’re going to be able to walk. Or crawl. Remember my promise?”

 

Toby scoffed. “We went a lot of rounds, but I don’t think– _ fuck!”  _ The expletive was triggered by Toby putting full weight onto his hips and feet. His knees buckled.

 

Cole laughed, stood up, and swept Toby up in his arms. “You need me, honey.”

 

“Motherfucker,” Toby grumbled, but he put his arms around Cole’s neck and let himself be carried out. 

 

Cole raced down the hall and, when they got to the stairs, slid down the bannister, giggling like a maniac. Toby held on for dear life. They ran through the messy, messy foyer (evidently nobody had bothered to clean up after themselves), past people sleeping off their hangovers, and into the kitchen.

 

Cole set Toby down gingerly onto the tile floor. Toby grabbed hold of a chair to steady himself, and blinked. There, by the stove, was Laser, scrambling eggs. “Hey, Laser,” said Toby.

 

“Hey, Toby,” said Laser. 

 

Hel, who was cutting up mango in her nightgown, shot a wink at Toby. Toby smiled, sitting down in a chair. “You finally got him, Hel?”

 

“Sure did!” she said loudly. “And let me tell you, he is no pacifist in bed.” Laser blushed and focused on scrambling the eggs. Hel turned around, gesturing with the knife. “Cole, congrats! Now you can finally shut up about Toby.”

 

“You talked about me?” Toby asked. 

 

“It was always ‘Hel I want to fuck your best friend’ this, or ‘Hel are you sure that Toby is straight’ that,” Hel complained. “Cole, have you realized that Toby is unfulfilling and decided to move on yet?” 

 

“The exact opposite,” said Cole, sitting down and ignoring Toby’s yelp of protest. “In fact, sister mine, I think he’s staying for good.”

 

Hel groaned. “Now I’m stuck with you as an in-law  _ forever _ , Thompson. I hope you’re happy.”

 

“Taupe Black has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?” Cole mused.

 

“Laser, tell them what your real name is,” Hel said, putting the cut mango on a plate.

 

“Vantus,” Laser said as he scraped the eggs onto four plates. “My parents gave all of us weird names.”

 

“Vantus Black. Vanta Black,” said Hel smugly. “Name tradition, fuck yeah!”

 

Hel and Laser joined Toby and Cole at the table, handing out plates. Toby took the eggs offered to him, and speared a few slices of mango from the dish in the center. “Loogie will be happy that me and him will be in-laws.”

 

“If by happy, you mean ‘utterly put out,’ then yes,” said Laser.

 

“Dibs on getting to tell him,” Cole said. 

 

Toby smiled, and he knew that this family would be the death of him.

**Author's Note:**

> idk if there even is a shorts fandom? but if there is, hit me up at halobolts.tumblr.com. i'm so lonely. also i want to rabbit this movie with some of y'all so. message me. ok. cool. thank you for commenting.


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